a bad debt follows you

"... automatically, worn out by the gloomy day and by the perspective of a sad tomorrow, I put in my mouth a spoonful of tea in which I had softened a piece of the madeleine.... A delicious pleasure overtook me, isolated, disconnected from any idea about its cause. It immediately made life’s vicissitudes indifferent to me, life’s disasters became innocuous, its brevity illusory, in the same way that love operates, filling me with a precious essence: or, rather, this essence was not in me, it was me."

-Marcel Proust


sometimes moments come along that you don't want to embrace, but you have to do it anyway. there have been a few moments in my life like this, moments where i wanted to run away and avoid the truth of the matter. yesterday, however, was the first time i walked into truth and decision head on, impulsively acting on my emotion.

today i feel free of the dead weight of dying flowers. the sweet smell faded quickly and became a choking stench.

at some point that stench with disappear, leaving room for new growth and return to beauty. that point is not today and it will not be tomorrow.

no longer will my decisions be greedily snatched from my hands. this is the last i will say about anything intensely personal here.

i found out that time really is a revelator. god bless gillian welch.